Dear diary today the awesome me was a girl
by ZH9
Summary: Prussia is writing his diary but today lots of stuff happened like getting turned in to a girl! WARNINGS CRACK FIC ENGLANDXMAPOFTHEUS AND PRUSSIA WITH BOOBS AND THE BTT


**A/N FIRST CRACK FIC SOOOOOOOOOOO HERE IS THIS ONESHOT THING HOPE YOU LIKE IT AND YOU LOL UR PANTS OFF!**

**DISCLAMER: I OWN NOTHING**

Dear diary

I AM AWSOME… also the awesome me observed something AWSOME! Well it started this morning I guess I had a bowl of honey hoops because they were the only thing left … oh the awesome me is starting to let his diary drag! Now I can't have that happen.

So back to the interesting part!

Well I was stalking England like a pro because Spain is scared what he's doing for Halloween! KESESESESESESESESESESE! I already know that eyebrows is dressing as a pirate so I'm not going to tell him that, I can imagine it Spain literally shitting himself.

So when I was stalking England I watched him do this spell thing then next thing you knew there was a pink puff, totally not awesome, then I was a girl! Yeah BOOBS AND EVERYTHING! Oh about the pink puff it was kind of a big pink puff so I'd say stay at least stays 10 to 20 meters away.

Oh yeah England was a girl to, this got me thinking… why did he want to be a girl?

So that's when I made a plan! I the awesome me would find out! Then document it in my diary! HA eyebrows I have blackmail.

So of course first part of my plan was to get female cloths! So I went to Frances … he says the women cloths he has are for… studying but I think he just like's drag.

So yeah I went to Frances house and took some cloths and damn I looked smoking hot in them if I do say so myself, also my awesome ass… I'd tap it.

After that I put my plan in to action…

If I remembered right I called it 'THE PLAN WHAT SHOW'S I'M AN AWESOME PERSON AND I RULE ALL!" Yes so I know what you're thinking diary THAT'S FRIGING AMAZING! You can't say awesome because I only say it…

So as plan THE PLAN WHAT SHOW'S I'M AN AWESOME PERSON AND I RULE ALL! Was put in to action I snuck back to England's house with my sneaky sneak skills, yeah I have those, and waited outside in the front garden in a bush. I'M a FREAKING GENIOUS!

So while I was waiting I took out my phone and took a shit ton of photos of myself, I'm sorry when someone looks as good as me you just have to, oh and England came out so I turned from the camera setting to video setting and started to record him!

Well yeah I have the video to prove everything and you might be thinking well why Prussia are you writing about it? CAUSE I FRIKING CAN!

So once eyebrows started to walk down the street I followed after him…. Her …. HESHE GIRLBOYBABY! I don't know what to call the idiot.

So I was using my sneaky sneak skills I suppose it looked like something from that move… MISSION IMPOSSIBLE! Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun… that was meant to be the theme song I was singing but I'm just to awesome I knew what it was!

So once England got to the end of the road he just stood there. At first I thought he was being a prostitute and then I saw France! WHAT THE FUCK WAS GOING ON!

Then France took England into his car! OMG HE GOT FRIKING EYEBROWS WHO HATES HIM TO GO IN HIS CAR! Kesesese more blackmail!

Only problem… they had drove off so I needed someone with a car to pick me up.

So I phoned him…

Germany.

And the call went something like this.

Germany: Hi bruder, what do you want?

Me: WELL GERMANY ENGLAND TURNED ME INTO A GIRL!

Germany: W-what? Did Prussia get you to phone me to trick me?

Me: No. get your ass over to England's house or I send those photos of me nude to everyone

Germany: that wouldn't affect me thou..

Me: HA I'M GOING TO SEND THEM!

Germany: whatever I'll come to get you.

And that is how I the awesome Prussia won that argument! I'm so awesome. While I was waiting I decided to play an app on my phone until I heard a beeping and I looked up, "Bro-Sister come one let's go!", I walked over to the car to see Germany and Italy in the front so looks like I get the back.

"Totally not awesome" was my thoughts on the matter of seating arrangement's I always call shot-gun ,Italy that lucky bastered, either way I was better than both of them put together and dear I write it much much much hotter! Well I had to say it I had BOOB'S

So Italy asked why I was a girl and I replied with "why not?" which made him shut up I think he dumbed himself out or something.

"Prussia! Why where you at England's house?" my younger bigger brother said to me, I replied with a lie "to watch his pron" kesesesesesesesese what an amazing plan! Germany must of thought it was a good Idea to by slapping a hand over his face "where do you want to go?" at this point I didn't know.

So I came up with another amazingly awesome plan! Italy would phone France. And. Ask. WHERE THE FUCK HE WAS!

So one boring phone call later Italy told me that France said something going over to America's house with England… my reaction was … YEAH I CAN GET DRUNK WITH AMERICA AND THEN POSSIBULY HIT ON CANADA! I mean if Canada was there I guess.

So for the car journey I will let you imagine one of those cool Montague travel vid's cause my journey was nothing like that, mine was more listening to all Italian songs and not liking them. So just think of me in the car rocking out to some awesome song or something and getting drunk then swinging my hair around or something.

So yeah when we got to America's house there was a party going on…a Halloween one… the one which I forgot about.

So that was why!

It all made sense now. England wanted to seduce America but turned himself into a girl to hide the fact he didn't have a costume! I told Germany but he said it was stupid and he wanted to go home because he was a big baby man boy who cried, okay I made that part up but he did want to go.

Because Italy wanted to stay he stayed and it turned out America had a few spare Halloween costumes. So me, Germany and Italy where dressed as.

A McDonald's meal.

Me the drink Italy the fries and Germany the burger, now thinking back on it why did America have those costumes?

And why didn't he ask why I was a girl?

So looking around America's house, what is too big, we found out some information about where England and France where 'In the bed room…' I'm not sure what it meant but I didn't want to check on them right then.

So I walked as well as I could in the stupid costume over to Canada who was sitting in a chair holding his bear. "BIRDIE!" I called out getting a strange look from Canada, oh right I was girl me in a drink costume … "ITS ME PRUSSIA I GOT TURNED INTO A GIRL BY ENGLAND HELP ME KILL/BLACKMAILE HIM!" and Canada just rejected me!

CANADA HOW COULD YOU BE SO CRULE!

SO I went back on my awesome MISSION! Cause like I was dressed as the shake I decided it would be good to look for England on the dance floor and shake my sweet ass!

Yeah he wasn't there but then an idea popped into my HEAD!

Germany had potatoes in the back of his CAR! CHICKS DIG POTATOES! Or maybe just German girls do or Germany as a girl NO IM THE ONLY GIRL TURNED TO DAY oh yeah and England.

Either way I could always like just make him chips…. Fries POTATOES MADE IN SQUARE SHAPES!... wait there not square?!

So I went in to America's kitchen with the PPOTATOES! And cause he is a fat ass awesome dude he had a fat-deep-ultra-fried-stuff thing and chopped up the potatoes with my sword kesesesesesesese and put them in the fat fried thing and then put them on a plate and covered them with tea.

Now here is the funny thing as soon as I put the plate down I looked over and saw FEM NYO GIRLY ENGLAND MAKING OUT WITH THE USA…. The MAP! Omg here is the drawing I mean photo

:3kiss kiss *mapUSA*

And it totally looked like that no lie!

So he SHE MAN BABY NYO CHAN England like ran over to the chip-tea plate and sucked the tea off the plate! :O

Then she looked up at me and screamed! How rude. So me being the nice person I am I grabbed the now empty plate and smashed it over his she Mr nyo Kuns head , this of Couse knocked him dead-sleepy thingy.

Then that's when I noticed I HAVE BIGGER BOOBS THEN HER!

Of Couse it wasn't just the fattening food costume I was wearing that made them look bigger, with the sleeping-dead England being dead I decided I needed to put her/him somewhere. So what a better place than Americas bed? I mean he was like just sucking on Texas on that map right?

So when I tucked up England in the sheets of THE USA US AMERICA MERICA! Bed I sand her a song it went .

Rock a-by baby you have bad teeth,

When the windblowzzzzz I'll be awesome,

Down will come British tea face,

Mangled and mutilated.

My singing is truly amazing I MEAN AWESOME KESESESESESESESESESE.

So yeah when I went down stairs I saw Spain and France OMG MY BFFFFE! THAT STANDS FOR BEST FUCKING FRIENDS FOR FUCKING EVER! The reason there is two fuckings in it is because like one is for me and the other is for France and Spain doesn't get one cause he looks stupid.

Oh yeah then we did that calling thing.

Me : SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN

Spain: FRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNCE

FRANCE: PRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSSSIA

ME: FRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNCEEEEE

FRANCE: ITALIAN BOYS

Then us the btt stopped and I looked at France like

:O

And Spain was like

XD

And then Romano like came over and smashed Russia's vodka bottle over my head THEN I TURNED BACK INTO PRUSSIA WITH A DICK AND NO BOOBS!

Then I knew I was free to live my life so walked out that house with my costume on and realised the meaning of life. It was to have a dick.


End file.
